Customer Care Service

Ugh! Remind me again why do we need cell phones? I know the teenager needs his much like a binky or blanky. Well, his Motorola Razor which was a replacement phone, broke. Yep, the #2 & #4 just did not want to work. Now mind you this replaced the Razor whose battery kept popping out with no warning. That Razor replaced the one he accidentally dropped into a small puddle at the pool. Since we just received the new Razor on the 10th, I thought I could take it to the local Cingular store and exchange it. Afterall, we've been Cingular customers for over 2 years. Oh, silly me, that's impossible because the Razors are insurance replacements and not really Cingular phones. (Huh?) Okay fine, send me another one through the insurance and please adjust my monthly bill because I will be without a fully functioning phone until next Wednesday.
No, we cannot, because your phone was somewhat functioning. Please understand, I have had to wait many days for phones through the insurance. No we cannot adjust your bill at all.

I should stop now and inform all of the bloggesphere readers that in a former life I worked for the phone company when they gave customer service. I was actually a customer service rep and business office supervisor and manager. I promptly asked my "customer care representative", Timothy Morse, if I could speak with his supervisor. Now you must understand, the very first human I communicated with was Yelle. Don't ask me how to pronounce it, because she neglected to introduce herself. I introduced myself, but not Yelle. She told me that the phone couldn't be replaced and she would call the"customer care service". Timothy, in all of his wisdom, failed to provide me with a supervisor. Timothy Morse hung up on me. Now you can insult me verbally. You can even tell me I'm a cartoon. You can walk away from me, but do not ever think about hanging up on me.My blood pressure does funny things such as raise astronomically, my voice lowers 2 octaves, I speak in very big words very slowly and deliberately. I promptly asked Yelle to dial the customer care service again for me and connect me to a "customer care" supervisor. Unfortunately for Yelle, she chose to ignore me. The customer whom she was helping right next to me informed Yelle, that she would wait while she dialed for me. Yelle then was forced to acknowledge my presence and informed me she would get her manager. She left her station and disappeared behind the 2 way mirrored employees only dooors which we all know is where the wizard is located. At that point I whipped out my red pen, turned over my Razor packaging receipt and documented word for word, time in and time out, the conversations I had and with whom and what they said. Yelle reappeared refreshed and rehydrated, and sent me away to another counter to wait for the manager. Oh, not cool.......After a 9 minute wait,yes, I am documenting, Matthew, assistant manager, large in stature and large in girth went toe to toe with the 5'2" madder than a wet hornet flippin' water mom in the middle of the Cingular store. After assuring him through several questions that I was who I said I was, Matt also told me there was no adjustment in my bill and no phone to be exchanged. I used as many large and difficult words as I could muster with my blood pressure shooting through my veins and out the orbs of my ears. Matt clearly understood as I distinctly and deliberately shared with him why my bill should be adjusted. It was, and he gave me a receipt so I would be reassured. He also had to explain to me and to the customers in the store, that they really did not need Lockline wireless insurance for $3.99 per line per month with a $50 deductible. We could return the said phone to Motorola free and it might take 2 - 3 days to receive a new phone. But, yes, replacing the phone with the manufacture is free. Uh, Matt, large in stature and girth, that's how long it takes to get a new phone from Lockline. And, Matt, they are an agent of Cingular because they are selling Cingular products which they are buying from Cingular, sending in Cingular boxes with Cingular instructions, etc., etc. Free, Matt, Free! Explain it to the rest of the duped please and let them know Cingular does not truly believe in "Customer Care." And, Matt, large in stature and large in girth, get a grip, and use some deodarant. After all, I'm just a flippin' 53 year old watermom. Thanks very much, Matt, for the $9.99 credit. That's just peachy.

I'm going to get a glass of wine and pet the dog. I'll be my own customer care service.