Endings & Beginnings

Tomorrow is a huge day for me, but I'm not sure how big it is for the teenager. Tomorrow is High School Section Swim trials. He'll be competing against the fastest swimmers in our NorCal Sections. Some of the same boys that battled in the pool during water polo will be lane to lane in head on competition. My teenager will be swimming "out of his mind" as he puts it. Is he the fastest swimmer in the Section? Nope. Has he been swimming his fastest? Yes, and double yes. This year he's seeded 15th in a group of 16 out of NorCal. It's a fast year and the kids are incredibly well prepared. His 55 second 100 fly is 15th. He is shaved down, carbed up, and ready to swim fast. I have no idea what's going to happen. He'll be part of the 200 IM relay and he is seeded 15th for the 100 breast. His goal of course is to be in the top 8 and not in consolations at the end of trials tomorrow. It will be exciting.

Swimming is such an individual sport. There is so much mind and heart that goes into it. It's his last section trials. It will be the last time I watch him take that dive off the Tokay High blocks. Racing, straining, reaching, toward a fast finish. I love to watch him race. He's been in the pool racing since he was 20 months old. That's how old he was when he swam his first 25 free in an official USS meet. That dimpled grin spread across his face and as he stopped to hear the crowd and look for his family's faces. He was in love with the water. Now, of course, water polo is his latest love and mistress. I have to say that I take great joy in watching my boys swim. I remember my oldest's last Section Meet. I cried. His fly was beautiful. I loved the details of my oldest's shoulders heaving up out of the water as his arms and shoulders rotated. His blonde head, tanned strong back, and legs propelled him down his lane. I cried. He made it look easy. The teenager has a different approach to the fly. He attacks it athletically. The oldest entered the water in a single motion and controlled his stroke in such a way that he lept from the water at ease and smoothly. The teenager monitors the race and strategizes before he dives from the block. The stroke is not so much smooth as it is a picture of upper body power. As I rerun these pictures on my flippin' 53 year old brain & brain vcr, I am reminded, that yes, these are my children. They're not Olympians. They're not national champions. Yet, they are incredible. They are better than average. They are amazing in the water. I am so envious that they have conquered liquid space. I am even proud of me. You see, I am totally afraid, irrationally so, of any water over my head. By God's grace, I allowed my boys to conquer their own fears and control their destiny in the water. In the meantime, they have shown me how not to fear, how to let go, how to smile, and stretch my faith as they stretch their wings.

Section trials, tomorrow, Tokay High School, teenager, swim fast, Buddy. I love you.